As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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