My liver just broke up with me...
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We need to feng shui this bitch.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
