areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
