I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
