Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize