i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
