On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize