i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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