I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
