What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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