she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
