If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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