If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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