Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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