Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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