Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
