dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Hippo gnu deer
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
