Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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