the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
