no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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