The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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