Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My cat gives me a boner
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
