His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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