i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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