Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
