He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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