am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
