Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
