then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
where does the pee come out of this thing
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
