Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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