Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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