I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize