i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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