$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
