I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
im holly from the hills drunk
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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