I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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