then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
