i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
