According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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