Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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