And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
