Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
