Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
