She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize