Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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