were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He passed out mid-signature
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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