Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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