I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
