im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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