brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize