i jhust puked up my retainher.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
