I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
