i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
