I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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