my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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