They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize