I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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