dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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