Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
