i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
