ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Randomize
