Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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