I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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