Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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