She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
