yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
